“Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word” – Elton John

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you’re not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it’s all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad, sad situation
And it’s getting more and more absurd
It’s sad, so sad
Why can’t we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word.

——————————————————

From Wikipedia, the Free Online Encyclopedia:

QUOTE: Sir Elton Hercules John CBE  (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight on 25 March 1947) is an English rock singer-songwriter, composer, pianist and occasional actor. In his five-decade career John has sold more than 250 million records, making him one of the most successful artists of all time. He is best known for his single, “Candle in the Wind 1997” which has sold an incredible 33 million copies worldwide. He has received six Grammy Awards, four Brit Awards, an Academy Award, a Golden Globe Award, a Tony Award and the Kennedy Center Honors in 2004. John was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1994. Having been named a Commander of the Order of the British Empire (CBE) in 1996, John received a knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II for “services to music and charitable services” in 1998. John has performed at a number of royal events – the most notable performance being the funeral of Princess Diana at Westminster Abbey in 1997.

He has been heavily involved in the fight against AIDS since the late 1980s. In 1992, he established the Elton John AIDS Foundation and a year later began hosting the annual Academy Award Party, which has since become one of the highest-profile Oscar parties in the Hollywood film industry. Since its inception, the foundation has raised over $200 million.

John entered into a civil partnership with David Furnish on 21 December 2005. In 2008, Billboard magazine ranked him as the most successful male solo artist on “The Billboard Hot 100 Top All-Time Artists” (third overall, behind only The Beatles and Madonna). UNQUOTE

—————————————————————–

 

Whatever you might imagine as being the case, the undeniable fact of us all living through “The Dark Ages” is that the world certainly did not go crazy overnight. Human attitudes, attributes and behaviors in general are moulded and given the “finishing, smoothing touches” by our cognizance of basic etiquette, ethics, morality and a basic value system.

So, let us start with etiquette or a cognizance of good manners: if you find yourself in a situation where you have gravely wronged someone, it would be considered as very bad manners indeed, if you took every opportunity to cackle like a demented banshee, every time that particular person happened to cross your path. Don’t laugh – it is a pertinent example, coming from your author who is “Hooked on Inspiration!” To take the matter a little further – it would be even less ethical if you were to be suddenly taken up by an uncontrollable rage – a rage that forces you to give a stinging slap to the face or a sharp kick to that unsuspecting person’s groin. Such behavior would be highly inappropriate and you know it too!

ETIQUETTE IS ABOUT FOLLOWING A FIXED SET OF RULES AND A SPECIFIC CODE OF CONDUCT THAT CALLS FOR CORRECT BEHAVIOR IN A PARTICULAR SITUATION. Different nationalities and races of people have varied codes of etiquette and what they consider as being correct behavior

Take my sincere advice – ‘DON’T IGNORE “THE SMALL, SEEMINGLY INCONSEQUENTIAL THINGS” IN LIFE. YOU OUGHT NOT TO REALIZE TOO LATE IN THE DAY THAT THEY WERE ACTUALLY “THE BIGGEST AND MOST IMPORTANT” THINGS. THESE “SMALL THINGS” ARE ALL THE THINGS THAT MATTER A GREAT DEAL IN THE LONG RUN; THEY ARE THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF A STRONG AND UNBREAKABLE FRIENDSHIP OR RELATIONSHIP.’

 

—————————————————-

 

Whoever was responsible for the quote, “God moves in Mysterious Ways” certainly knew what he/she was talking about.

Life is so strange – it takes several years of  our time and  unstinting efforts to build up a  friendship/relationship but it takes no less than ONE WORD OR ONE, SINGLE ACTION THAT IS MISALIGNED to break an entire relationship, in a matter of less than a minute. The after-effects of such a “break-up” are always devastating and heart-wrenching. Whoever does not agree with me, on this count, will please raise their hands! 

 

Sometimes, if you are lucky, God will give you a second chance just to end matters, on a decent and honorable note.  However, the amount of people who choose to use such an opportunity fruitfully is highly questionable, to say the least.

 

Since childhood, some of the most important words and phrases that are taught to most children are, “PLEASE,” “THANK YOU,” “MAY I…..” instead of the oft used phrase, “Can I…..?” For the latter expression, the idea is that one is requesting for permission from someone to do something; the person’s ability or capacity to carry out such an action is not in question at all! Most of us know that the expression of phrases like, “I LOVE YOU,” “YOU ARE SPECIAL,” “I MISS YOU,” and last but not least, “I AM SORRY – PLEASE FORGIVE ME” can make a big, positive change to any relationship. No one can ever say that they have not been taught repeatedly how important the expression of these phrases is to any successful and fruitful relationship or friendship.

 

The reason that most people choose not to use these expressions anymore is that they feel that they might be ridiculed or criticized by their immediate families, friends and by society, at large, for being “old-fashioned,” “too polite” and “too formal.” They would much rather give in to intense peer-pressure rather than stand up for what is ostensibly RIGHT and TRUE. The majority of youth today have no value for a class of moral education – they consider it as being a total waste of their “precious time” – time that they will inevitably spend whiling away gossiping needlessly or by staying for extended periods of time on their cell phones, I-pads, laptops and I-pods. This callous attitude has made the youth and the majority of adults of today “blasé” and totally indifferent and self-serving. Think about it – IS THIS THE LEGACY THAT WE HOPE TO LEAVE TO THE NEXT GENERATION? WHEN DID IT HAPPEN THAT WE STOPPED CARING FOR THESE, “SMALL, YET SO VITAL THINGS?”

 

Most people feel that they would feel too embarrassed and too ashamed if they were to vocalize, into so many words, how much they loved the people who matter so much to them. Instead they will “make it a point” of not telling the people who they love the most that it is true and undiluted love that they feel for them. “I LOVE YOU” and “YOU ARE SPECIAL” are words that are often left unsaid to one’s parents, siblings, friends, spouses or partners. IT IS TRUE THAT ACTIONS SPEAK A THOUSAND WORDS – YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW IF A PERSON LIKES OR DISLIKES YOU FROM THE MANNER IN WHICH THEY CHOOSE TO TREAT YOU.  OUTRIGHT ACTIONS, GESTURES AND OVERT BEHAVIOUR SPEAK A LANGUAGE OF THEIR VERY OWN – THEY TRANSCEND ALL BARRIERS OF CLASS, CASTE AND RACE. No one can refute that fact.

 

Let’s imagine a “more than likely” scenario where such vital words remain forever unspoken and behavior and gestures speak of anger, indifference, bitterness and even hatred. Yet if you were to probe deep and painstakingly into the other’s heart you’d be truly surprised to see that a deep love did exist and does exist – despite all the odds and attitudes to the contrary. LET IT NEVER HAPPEN THAT THE PERSON WHO BROUGHT SO MUCH JOY INTO YOUR LIFE, MOVES ON OR EVEN DIES WITHOUT EVER KNOWING WHAT YOU TRULY FELT FOR THEM. YOU COULD SCREAM ALL YOU WANT BUT THEY WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO HEAR YOUR WORDS – words that came too late. SUCH REGRETS CAN EASILY BE AVOIDED IF WE GO WITH WHAT OUR HEART – RATHER THAN WHAT OUR MIND – SPEAKS.

 

Last but not least, let me explain why the verbal expression of the words, “I AM SORRY,” “PLEASE FORGIVE ME” can make a big difference to any relationship that has undergone a very difficult ‘patch’ and is at times, at breaking point.  Sometimes, relationships reach such an impasse that no amount of conversation or communication is helpful – in fact, if such a conversation occurs, it inevitably becomes an event of confrontation and a “blame game.” It would indeed be in the best interests of all concerned, if such hurtful words remained unsaid. This is exactly what Elton John means when he sang, “Why can’t we talk?”

 

————————————————————–

Do you remember what I stated earlier?

 

“Sometimes, if you are lucky, God will give you a second chance just to end matters, on a decent and honorable note.  However, the amount of people who choose to use such an opportunity fruitfully is highly questionable, to say the least.”

 

When clarifications can no longer solve the disturbing issues at hand, some people just want to be at peace in their minds before they, “let go” and “move on” with their lives. Verbalizing the words, “I am sorry” is NOT necessarily an admission of guilt, regret or shame – it is, to a very large extent, a way of saying, “I wish things could have been different. I empathize with you. It is so unfortunate that matters turned out the way they did.” It is a way of extending a white flag of peace when all avenues of conversation and clarification have effectively closed down. SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST WANT TO HAVE A SENSE OF CLOSURE BEFORE THEY MOVE ON WITH THEIR LIVES. Saying, “I am sorry” manages to do just that.

 

THOSE PEOPLE WHO VALUE THE RELATIONSHIP, AT HAND, MORE THAN THEIR HURT PRIDE AND EGO WILL PREFER TO OFFER AN APOLOGY EVEN WHEN THEY WERE NEVER AT FAULT, IN THE FIRST PLACE.

 

Whatever the case may be, the expression of these words will become a farce, if sincerity is not involved. THE SAD TRUTH IS THAT MOST PEOPLE CANNOT AND WILL NOT EVER TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE SORRY FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO YOU; EVEN FEWER WILL MAKE EXTRA EFFORTS TO “GO OUT OF THEIR WAY” TO MAKE AMENDS FOR THE WRONG THAT HAS BEEN COMMITTED AGAINST ANOTHER.

 

This is OUR reality. WE HONESTLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO BE THE REALITY OF THE FUTURE GENERATIONS, DO WE?

 

I AM YOUR TEACHER AND YOUR SPIRITUAL GUIDE – there is only so much that I can do. Let all my efforts NOT be in vain. NOW THE REST LIES IN YOUR HANDS. I PRAY THAT YOU WILL HAVE THE COURAGE, THE HONOR,  THE INTEGRITY AND THE DECENCY TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT.

 

In the end, just remember the following refrain –  “WE ARE THE WORLD  WE ARE THE PEOPLE AND OUR LIVES ARE MADE UP OF CHOICES AND PRIORITIES.” Always Choose to do what is ostensibly Right and Honorable. Make it your Top Priority in Life.

 

That, my dear friends, is The Road to Salvation. HOLD THE HAND OF SHIVA  TIGHTLY AND ALLOW SHIVA TO LEAD YOU TO THIS GLORIOUS PATH – A PATH THAT LEADS TO THE SUPREME BEING HIMSELF!

Related articles

• Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word (itsonlyacuddle.wordpress.com)
• Sorry seems to be the hardest word (daisyree.wordpress.com)
• Sorry seems to be the hardest word. (buyagrainofsand.wordpress.com)
• Mau Mau case – when ‘sorry’ is the hardest word (socialistworker.co.uk)
• Why Some People Refuse to Apologize (psychologytoday.com)