Stalker Terror: Fatal Obsessions; Cowardly Intimidation; Lethal Consequences; Evil Personified


CRIME | MARCH 6, 2014

10 Terrifying Cases of Sadistic Stalkers

by Robin Warder

Fact checked by Jamie Frater

Source: https://listverse.com/2014/03/06/10-terrifying-cases-of-sadistic-stalkers/

There aren’t many things that make a person feel more helpless than being stalked and harassed by a mentally unbalanced individual. A stalker’s obsession with their victim can be so strong that any rejection of their unwanted advances can lead to violence, and they will often have little regard for the legal consequences. Believe it or not, there was once a time when stalking victims had very little protection, as anti-stalking laws have only been on the books for a few decades. Unfortunately, as many of these terrifying cases will demonstrate, someone usually had to be victimized before the proper laws were enacted.

10. Tatiana Tarasoff & Prosenjit Poddar

atiana Tarasoff is a prime example of a stalking victim who did not have the proper laws in place to protect her. In 1968, Tatiana became friends with Prosenjit Poddar, a University of California–Berkeley student from India. They shared a friendly kiss at a New Year’s Eve party, which gave Prosenjit the impression that Tatiana was attracted to him, but Tatiana soon clarified that she was not interested in a romantic relationship. Prosenjit could not handle the rejection and developed an unhealthy obsession with Tatiana, often secretly recording their conversations together.

In the summer of 1969, Tatiana left on a trip to Brazil, so Prosenjit went to see Dr. Lawrence Moore, a psychologist at the university hospital. During one of their therapy sessions, Prosenjit openly expressed his intentions to kill Tatiana. Dr. Moore believed Prosenjit was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and informed the campus police, but after police interviewed Prosenjit, they determined that he was not dangerous and decided to let him go. When Tatiana returned from Brazil, she was not informed about Prosenjit’s threats against her. On October 27, Prosenjit went to Tatiana’s house and shot her with a pellet gun before stabbing her 14 times.

Prosenjit immediately turned himself in and was convicted of second-degree murder, but his conviction was overturned because the jury at his trial was not properly instructed. Rather than retry him, the state elected to deport Prosenjit back to India after serving only five years. Tatiana’s family would sue the hospital for their failure to warn her about Prosenjit’s threats. This led to a Supreme Court case, Tarasoff v. Regents of the University of California, which ruled that mental health professionals have a duty to forgo confidentiality and warn individuals who are threatened by patients.

9. Theresa Saldana & Arthur Richard Jackson

Photo credit: Jim Accordino

These days, it’s not uncommon to hear news stories about famous celebrities being stalked by obsessive fans. Thankfully, most of these situations do not escalate into violence. That’s not the case with one of the first celebrity stalking cases to garner national attention, involving actress Theresa Saldana.

In 1982, the 27-year-old Saldana had already been featured in such prominent films as Raging Bull and I Wanna Hold Your Hand, but it was her performance in the movie Defiance that drew the attention of an obsessed fan named Arthur Richard Jackson. Jackson was a 47-year-old drifter from Aberdeen, Scotland who had traveled all the way across the globe to illegally enter the United States. Jackson’s plan was to find Saldana, kill her, and join her in the afterlife after he was executed for her murder.

Jackson first hired a private investigator to obtain the phone number of Saldana’s mother. Pretending to be a representative for director Martin Scorsese, he called her and claimed he needed to contact Saldana about a possible film role. After Saldana’s mother provided her daughter’s West Hollywood address, Jackson travelled there and waited outside. When Saldana exited her residence, Jackson stabbed her 10 times with a hunting knife.

The only reason Saldana survived is because a deliveryman named Jeffrey Fenn rushed to her rescue and subdued Jackson. Saldana made a full recovery and Jackson was given a 12-year sentence for attempted murder. Jackson continued to write threatening letters to Saldana while in prison but would be extradited to the United Kingdom to stand trial for another unrelated murder. After her recovery, Saldana became a prominent advocate for victim’s rights and even decided to relive her traumatic ordeal by playing herself in the made-for-TV movie Victims for Victims: The Theresa Saldana Story.

8. Laurie Show & Lisa Michelle Lambert

In 1991, a 16-year-old student at Conestoga Valley High School in Lancaster, Pennsylvania named Laurie Show became the victim of a nonstop ordeal of stalking and harassment. Laurie was targeted by a classmate named Lisa Michelle Lambert, who was upset that Laurie had briefly dated a mutual acquaintance, Lawrence “Butch” Yunkin. Michelle had recently become pregnant with Butch’s child and was obsessively jealous of Laurie, believing that she was trying to steal her boyfriend. In actuality, Butch had allegedly raped Laurie and she wanted nothing to do with him. Nonetheless, Michelle frequently harassed Laurie, taunting her with obscene phone calls and openly threatening her whenever she was in public. Laurie’s mother, Hazel Show, attempted to file assault charges against Michelle, but it did little to stop her.

On December 21, Hazel received a phone call from a counselor, asking her to drop by the school for a meeting about Laurie. It turned out the call was just a diversion to get Hazel out of the residence, leaving Laurie alone. When Hazel returned home, she was horrified to discover that her daughter had been murdered. Laurie’s throat had been slashed and she had been stabbed several times. She used her dying words to tell her mother that Michelle was responsible.

The next day, Michelle was arrested, along with an accomplice named Tabitha Buck. Butch Yunkin was also arrested for dropping the two girls off at Laurie’s residence, but claimed he did not participate in the murder. Michelle and Tabitha were both given life sentences, while Butch received a lesser sentence for testifying against them. The incident prompted Hazel Show to campaign for stronger anti-stalking laws in Pennsylvania, which went into effect in June 1993.

7. Priyadarshini Mattoo & Santosh Singh

Stalker

One of the most controversial criminal cases in the history of India involved the murder of a 25-year-old law student named Priyadarshini Mattoo. Priyadarshini was attending Delhi University when she drew the attention of another student named Santosh Singh. Throughout 1995, Santosh spent the year constantly stalking and harassing Priyadarshini until she formally complained to the police. They provided her with a personal security officer, but this failed to dissuade Santosh. On January 23, 1996, Priyadarshini was murdered at her home in New Delhi. She had been raped and her face had been repeatedly beaten with a motorcycle helmet before she was strangled to death with a wire.

A witness had seen Santosh entering the house shortly before her death, so he was arrested and charged with murder. However, Santosh’s father just happened to an Inspector-General on the police force at the time of Santosh’s trial and the Central Bureau of Investigation did an inadequate job of investigating the murder. In 1999, Santosh was acquitted of the crime, a decision which was met with much anger from the public. While reading the verdict, the judge stated that he believed Santosh committed the crime, but because of the CBI’s shoddy investigation, he was forced to give the accused the benefit of the doubt. This verdict was eventually appealed to the Delhi High Court, and in 2006, the decision was reversed, and Santosh was sentenced to death. In 2010, the sentence was commuted to life imprisonment.

6. Mary Stauffer & Ming Sen Shiue

Deeply afraid and terrorised

Ming Sen Shiue was originally born in Taiwan, but his family immigrated to Minnesota when he was a child. Ming attended Alexander Ramsey High School in Roseville and developed a crush on his ninth-grade algebra teacher, Mary Stauffer. Unfortunately, this crush eventually morphed into a deadly obsession that lasted 15 years. Throughout the 1970s, Ming attempted to track Mary down and relentlessly stalked her. On May 16, 1980, Mary and her eight-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, went to a beauty salon in Rosedale, where Ming kidnapped them at gunpoint as they were leaving. They were both tied up and smuggled into the trunk of Mary’s car.

Ming drove away, but soon decided to pull over because his captives kept making noises inside the trunk. This caught the attention of a six-year-old boy named Jason Wilkman, but when he approached the vehicle, Ming threw him into the trunk as well. Ming drove the boy to a wildlife refuge and beat him to death with a metal rod before taking the Stauffers to his home. Mary was repeatedly raped as both she and her daughter were held captive at Ming’s house for nearly two months. Ming even told Mary that the grade she gave him in algebra had blemished his otherwise perfect record and cost him a chance for a scholarship.

Finally, on July 7, they escaped and called for help. Shortly thereafter, Ming was arrested at his workplace. During the subsequent trial, Ming somehow managed to smuggle a knife into court and slash Mary’s face while she testified. In the end, Ming was sentenced to 40 years in prison for murder and given an additional 30 years for kidnapping.

5. Collette Dwyer & Derrick Todd Lee

Businesswoman Rejecting an Unwanted Sexual Advance

In 2002, Collette Dwyer was living through a terrible nightmare. She had been stalked and harassed by a man she believed to be a serial killer but could not get the police to take her seriously. Dwyer lived in St. Francisville, Louisiana and became acquainted with Derrick Todd Lee, a customer who frequently hung around her place of employment. Lee soon developed an obsession with Dwyer, who rebuffed his advances.

In 1999, Lee forced his way into Dwyer’s apartment, claiming that he wanted to love and “take care” of her. She refused Lee’s offer to accompany him to Lafayette, a decision which may have saved her life. Lee was charged with stalking and received probation, but soon went to prison for another unrelated crime. Two years later, Lee was released and started stalking Dwyer again.

Not long after that, Dwyer heard about the murder of a Baton Rouge woman named Charlotte Murray Pace and became convinced Lee was responsible. She notified the police, who investigated Lee, but didn’t bother to take his DNA because they were convinced the perpetrator was white. Dwyer contacted police again after the murder of a woman named Pam Kinamore, but they still didn’t believe Lee was responsible.

Finally, in May 2003, Lee was questioned for the rape of another woman and finally had his DNA taken. The DNA wound up linking him to the murders of Pace and Kinamore. In total, Lee’s DNA would be linked to the murders of seven women, and he was nicknamed “The Baton Rouge Serial Killer.” Lee was sentenced to death for his crimes and currently sits on death row at Louisiana State Penitentiary. Sadly, three of Lee’s murders might have been prevented, had the police not ignored Collette Dwyer.

4. Sandy Shaw & James “Cotton” Kelly

Teenagers (16-17 years old) examining a gun, beside the railway tracks

In 1986, there were no stalking laws on the books, which forced 15-year-old Sandy Shaw to make an unfortunate decision she would regret. Sandy lived in Las Vegas and was relentlessly harassed by 21-year-old James “Cotton” Kelly, who kept propositioning her to pose for nude pictures. Cotton called Sandy’s house so often that her mother finally contacted the police, but since there were no stalking laws in place, there was nothing they could do. In desperation, Sandy turned to an 18-year-old friend named Troy Kell, asking him to rough Cotton up until he backed off.

On September 29, Sandy, Troy, and another teenager named Billy Marrett drove Cotton out into the desert to enact their plan. To Sandy’s surprise, Troy pulled out a gun and shot Cotton six times in the face. In the ensuing days, Sandy allegedly brought some teenage friends to see Cotton’s corpse. When one of these friends reported the body to the police, the three perpetrators were arrested for the crime that would be dubbed the “Show and Tell Murder.”

Billy took a plea bargain to testify against Troy, who was given a life sentence for the murder. Even though Sandy claimed she did not know that Troy would kill Cotton, she was also sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Years later, one of Sandy’s friends confessed that he took the teens to view Cotton’s body and that Sandy was not present. Sandy always expressed genuine remorse about what happened, and the State Board of Pardons and Parole eventually believed her claims that she was just a desperate stalking victim who did not intend for anyone to get killed. Sandy’s life sentence was commuted, and she was finally paroled in December 2007.

3. Randi Barber & Gary Dellapenta

Computer hacker and cyberstalker

The invention of the Internet led to the invention of a new form of harassment called “cyberstalking,” which wasn’t criminalized until 1999. The first person to be charged under this new statute was a 50-year-old Los Angeles security guard named Gary Dellapenta. Three years beforehand, Dellapenta had developed an obsessive attraction to Randi Barber, a younger woman from his church. Dellapenta frequently followed and stalked Barber, who always spurned his advances. The harassment eventually became so bad that Barber convinced the church’s elders to ban Dellapenta from the congregation. Dellapenta then decided to go online to exact sadistic revenge.

During the summer of 1998, Dellapenta signed up for several sex-related chat rooms and began to impersonate Barber. Dellapenta left several personal ads under Barber’s name, stating that she fantasized about being raped by men who showed up at her apartment. Unfortunately, he also attached Barber’s address to these ads. During one five-month period, six men would show up at Barber’s apartment, claiming they were there to fulfill her rape fantasies.

Since Barber never went online and did not even own a computer, she was absolutely horrified and turned all these visitors away. Dellapenta even created a fake email address under Barber’s name, and whenever anyone contacted him, Dellapenta would provide instructions about how to break into her apartment and bypass the security system. Thankfully, Barber found out what Dellapenta was doing before she was physically harmed. Dellapenta was arrested on charges of cyberstalking and sentenced to six years in prison.

2. Rebecca Schaeffer & Robert John Bardo

One of the most tragic celebrity stalking cases of all time involved 21-year-old actress Rebecca Schaeffer. In 1989, Schaeffer was best known for her role on the sitcom My Sister Sam. Her film career was starting to take off, as she was slated to audition for a role in The Godfather Part III.

She had also drawn the attention of Robert John Bardo, an obsessed 19-year-old fan from Tucson, Arizona who had built a personal shrine to Schaeffer in his room. He sent numerous letters to Schaeffer and even made two attempts to visit her on the set of My Sister Sam. However, Bardo became horribly disappointed when he watched Schaeffer perform a sex scene in one of her films and decided she needed to be “punished.” He obtained Schaeffer’s home address through a private investigator and set forth to Los Angeles.

On the morning of July 18, Bardo visited Schaeffer’s apartment and buzzed her door. When Bardo told Schaeffer he was her biggest fan, she politely asked him to leave. Shortly afterward, Bardo buzzed Schaeffer again. This time, when Schaeffer answered the door, Bardo pulled out a gun and shot her to death. Bardo returned to Tucson but was quickly arrested after tipping off his sister about the murder. He wound up being charged with first-degree murder and received a life sentence.

This tragedy would ultimately lead to the enactment of stronger anti-stalking laws in California. Since Bardo’s private investigator had obtained Schaeffer’s address through the California Department of Motor Vehicles, the Driver’s Privacy Protection Act was passed, which made it illegal for anyone to obtain personal information through the DMV.

1. Laura Black & Richard Farley

Back view of businessman with handgun, Buenos Aires, Argentina

In April 1984, 35-year-old Richard Farley was a veteran employee at Electromagnetic Systems Labs Incorporated, a defence contractor in Sunnyvale, California. When 22-year-old Laura Black was hired to work at ESL, Farley instantly became obsessed with her. He constantly asked Black out and left her gifts, but she always turned him down.

Over the next four years, Farley’s obsession with Black became very unsettling. He wrote her over 200 letters and showed up at her residence so frequently that she was forced to move several times. Black finally went to ESL’s human resources department to complain about Farley, who was ordered to attend counselling sessions and leave Black alone. However, Farley’s behaviour became even more threatening, and ESL finally let him go in May 1986.

Despite this, Farley’s harassment of Black did not come to an end, and she would file a temporary restraining order against him on February 8, 1988. A hearing for the matter was scheduled in court on February 17. However, the day before the hearing, Farley drove his motor home to the ESL parking lot. He had several different guns with him, along with over 1,000 rounds of ammunition. After shooting his first victim in the parking lot, Farley proceeded into the ESL building with all of his weapons and opened fire.

Farley shot several employees before arriving at Black’s office and shooting her twice. Farley engaged the police in a five-hour standoff before he decided to surrender. While Black survived, a total of seven employees lost their lives and three more were wounded. Farley was found guilty of seven counts of first-degree murder and currently sits on death row at San Quentin.

Robin Warder is a budding Canadian screenwriter who has used his encyclopaedic movie knowledge to publish numerous articles at Cracked.com. He is also the co-owner of a pop culture website called The Back Row and recently worked on a sci-fi short film called Jet Ranger of Another Tomorrow.

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Now, a note from this author:

A person may feel threatened for various reasons but none of these feelings can be compared, in any way, to the claustrophobic feeling of imminent terror, impending doom, persistent danger, phobic fear, and an ever-present, feeling of being under a compelling threat to life itself, that comes from being a victim of stalking. We cannot even begin to imagine the extent of evil-mindedness involved in such harmful acts of cunning deception and cowardly intimidation. Enter the ever-mushrooming and shadowy, ominous world of lurking, malignant and fatally-intentioned stalkers.

Stalking crimes are escalating at an alarming rate, and it is fast becoming one of the greatest forms of deadly crimes perpetrated against trusting, innocent, vulnerable victims, of our day and age. Just another “Dark Face of Evil Personified” – stalkers are one of the most lethal conmen of contemporary times – make no mistake about it.

Stalkers intend harm on their victims and on their families and invariably get away scot-free, despite all the stress, anxiety, fear and trauma that their actions cause, because they have managed to find all sorts of loopholes in the law. Another reason why stalking has gained so much momentum is because of the lack of sufficient proof to instil ‘reasonable doubt’ in the minds of the Judge and Jury, thus provoking a ‘guilty verdict’ and appropriate long-term sentencing. That is if the case is taken seriously, in the first instance and if, it so happens, that the stalking case ever comes up in a court of law. The laws should be amended post-haste so that stalking victims are afforded more protection from such crimes.

If the prosecution fails to provide sufficient burden of proof against the stalker, he might be incarcerated for a few years, but then equally, he/she could be released earlier from prison on parole, or on the basis of so-called “good behaviour.” However, it has been oft noted that most incarcerated stalkers are highly likely to re-offend, on their release from prison. They rarely – if ever- repent for their deeds – in fact, they remain brazen, indifferent, nonchalant, and shamelessly deny everything. It becomes a case of “her word against his,” or vice versa. Men are more likely to be stalkers than women but the latter are known to stalk men too.

Being a stalker is deemed, by society and even by prisoners themselves, as being “the lowest of the low,” just like the disgusting, preying paedophiles of our society – a true-life stalker himself, once stated, that he would much rather be known as a murderer, than as a stalker because there is a distinct element of cowardice involved in stalking. Stalkers are basically cowardly bullies who use cunning deception and deviousness as their tactics -they gain a sense of control and false power by instilling fear in their victims, by playing mind-control games with them and by using intimidation tactics. It is a whole new level of extreme harassment – a formidable presence, forever lurking in the shadows.

Stalkers manage to effectively induce a feeling of imminent danger and impending doom in the lives of their victims. The victim, in turn, feels so traumatised and terrorised that he/she may start getting increasingly paranoid, clinically depressed till he/she is on the verge of a total nervous, mental breakdown. Stalking victims may take to the abuse of alcohol and drugs, in an attempt to blunt the ongoing stress and trauma. Victims become a wreck of their former selves and become obsessive themselves, as a coping defence mechanism, in the face of undue terror. Stalking shatters one’s peace of mind and disrupts one’s sanity, often beyond repair – it is highly intrusive and harmful in itself. A stalking victim will feel compelled to check if the doors and windows of their homes are locked multiple times, in the span of a few minutes. A victim of cyberstalking will be obsessed in checking his/her phone to check the online social media platforms for publicly posted and further embarassing, vulgar and disgusting nude photos of themselves, in various compromising positions. This is yet another way used by stalkers to blackmail and harass their victims.

Knowledge is Power – the moment that one understands WHY people behave in the way that they do, it immediately predicts an appropriate reaction to the said action.

Most stalkers are evil-intentioned and criminal-minded people – they gain strength from being an ominous presence lurking in the shadows. Never forget that such people are basically cowardly bullies – the moment that one has the courage to stand up to a bully, one realises how quickly and silently he slinks away, like a chastised dog, with his tail between his legs.

However, stalking is by no means, to be taken lightly – it is a felony that can have severe repercussions and grave, fatal consequences. Try not to be cowed down by the mind-control games and terror-inducing intimidation tactics of a stalker – work relentlessly to get the law-enforcement agencies and the legal system on your side. Gather as much physical proof as possible so that the slippery, scheming perpetrator gets to be imprisoned lifelong, with no possibility of parole. Stop being the prey; become the predator yourself – give it back to them, as good as they give, while remaining well within the boundaries of the law, of course. People hate getting their own despicable and reprehensible actions, thrown back, smack into their face. Do not forget it.

As per my perspective and opinion, stalkers have some very distinct characteristics:

  • The stalker is a person who is often found to suffer from feelings of low-self-esteem and self-doubt – this feeling of ‘being deemed a failure,’ leads to ongoing frustration and rising aggression. Sometimes, an unhappy childhood, originating from a ‘broken home’ greatly exacerbates matters, especially if the person has suffered abuse and neglect himself/herself; or has been forced to watch another family member being mercilessly abused, at the hands of an alcoholic/drug-addict parent. The abused individual feels betrayed and cheated out of happiness and basic peace of mind that would keep him/her sane. He/she takes to alcohol and addictive drugs to drown his/her sorrows, but that only serves to worsen, the already bad situation, further, doesn’t it? The person feels unloved, unwanted and basically abandoned by society. Victims of child abuse and neglect become ‘needy’ and crave attention, kindness, compassion, and even love from the person who they end up stalking. It is a vicious cycle where the abused person becomes the abuser.
  • A stalking victim might not realise – till it is too late – that they are being stalked. An innocent smile, a fleeting gesture of friendliness can be largely misinterpreted by the person who is badly in need of caring and affection. When the person realises that his/her feelings are not being reciprocated as he/she expected, this leads again to feelings of worthlessness and abandonment. The latter feels that the other person is purposely being casual, callous, indifferent, and playing subtle, frivolous games with their emotions. They feel teased and realise that their trust has been betrayed – despite it never having been the case. This causes a boiling anger that slowly seethes into an all-encompassing rage. The person slowly starts metamorphosing into a stalker. He/she decides to extract a slow, tortuous, and painful revenge on the individual who has slighted him/her so callously.
  • The stalker takes rejection very personally – they become more and more vindictive, and device all sorts of ways to harass the other person. He/she will follow the victim everywhere he/she goes; the latter feels watched constantly, feels extremely ill-at-ease and increasingly threatened as their space and circle of privacy is slowly, but surely, invaded.  As the claustrophobic feelings of the stalking victim, of being constantly watched and followed from the shadows, keeps increasing, the victim becomes more and more anxious, stressed, and panic-stricken. Imagine having to live your life looking over your shoulder, each day, every day and all the time? One feels absolutely terrorised, thoroughly impotent and totally helpless in the face of this shadowy, lurking, ominous presence that is the stalker. Stalking involves multiple, ongoing, unwanted instrusions into one’s personal space and private life. Stalkers are not beyond identity theft – they will go so far as to take on the persona of another person, in a bid to hide their true identity from their victim.
  • Stalkers are basically sophisticated, but highly dangerous conmen, driven by deviousness, and a hidden agenda. They are highly intelligent people but they have no qualms in using their intelligence in the wrong way. They have a crooked mind and a warped sense of thinking.
  • Even Ted Bundy, one of the world’s most infamous and cruel serial killers, in America, in the 70’s, started out in his deviant career of evil deeds, initially as a credible conman. He used to simulate a physical impairment, such as a false limp or injury, to convince his target that he was in need of assistance – while the said con occurred in a public place, he would later lure the victim to his car parked in a secluded area before he kidnapped, raped and killed her. He used his charisma to appeal to the kind-heartedness of unsuspecting women, knowing they would help him because they would immediately believe that he was truly injured – when, in reality, it was only a devious ploy to con them so that they would willingly go along with him. Sometimes, he would dupe the victim into believing that he was an authority figure – we all know he never was such a person. He used the same tactic of using his undeniable charm and charisma, to make claims of his innocence, when dealing with law enforcement, the media and the criminal justice system. He was fatally fixated on a certain type of woman – most of his victims looked remarkably similar to each other; they all had long, dark hair, parted in the middle. He would stalk his victim before he committed his murderous and brutal acts. The total number of his victims is not known – some sources say that it could exceed 300 victims. So many families and loved ones are left with no answers, and no closure. It is truly tragic and thoroughly devastating, to say the least. For the people Bundy left behind, there is ongoing and endless pain, grief and sorrow. These people will never know what really happened to their daughters, sisters, etc. – the suffering that he caused has made many ripples in the several, outward-moving concentric circles of the people (families of the victims, especially) he left alive. This sadistic sociopath, notorious for his heartlessness, was finally executed in the electric chair at Florida State Prison in 1989.
  • Stalkers thrive on creating mayhem and havoc in other people’s lives. They will stoop to anything to get what they want. In this digital age that we live in, they might morph and photoshop the nude torso or naked body of some other individual, while superimposing the face of the victim to the said nude image, to stalk and blackmail them for personal, lucrative, ill-gotten gains. They might resort to using disgusting, pornographic images, with the victim’s face superimposed on the naked, writhing form and threaten to expose him/her to the world at large, unless his/her demands are met. It is an impossible situation that thoroughly entraps and traumatises the victim. This type of stalking is especially rampant among spurned lovers who have been ‘cuckolded’ in matters of the heart and who feel spurned in love by their spouses or partners. Such treacherous cyberstalking instances have been known to lead some people to commit suicide rather than face public humiliation and intense embarassment.
  • A stalker is driven by deep and compelling obsessions – they are often shamelessly traitorous; convincing and pathological liars; sly confidence-tricksters who prey upon the misplaced trust of their victims. They exhibit a devious and cunning deception and make use of various intimidation tactics to keep a power-hold on their victims. They might send repeated threatening messages to their victims such as “I’m watching you. I can see what you are doing right now;” or “I am watching your daughter playing in the park. Do you realise how easy it would be for me to kidnap her?” OR “I am constantly watching you – if I can’t have you, then no one else will. I will make sure of that.”
  • Some stalking survivors feel so threatened for their own lives and for those of their family members, that they have literally been forced to uproot themselves from their homes; they quit their jobs and thereby their livelihood; they leave their family and friends behind and are forced to lead a nomadic existence, while constantly remaining on the move, from city to city, in the hope of evading their ubiquitous tormentor. Stalking victims find it increasingly difficult to put down their roots and settle down permanently anywhere, for a long period of time, without feeling forced to shift from place to place, endlessly.
  • The stalking victim feels, unceasingly, that a sword is hanging over his/her head – they suffer, in this way, severe mental and emotional abuse at the hands of the relentless, omnipresent torturer and harasser.In this way, stalking victims feel a pervading sense of menace and a vast feeling of impending doom in their lives. They actively fear for their own lives, as well as those of their loved ones, which come under immediate threat, in a stalking situation.
  • A stalker is a highly manipulative and vengeful person – he/she can be a formidable adversary, not beyond playing mind-control games to maintain a power-hold on his/her victim. He takes sadistic pleasure in inflicting pain and suffering on his/her victims and their family members.
  • As the torture techniques used by the stalker keep escalating, his/her seething rage grows, especially if he/she feels that he is not winning in this ruthless and unscrupulous game. As his/her ensuing rage boils over, matters may end horribly, when the victim is finally tortured and murdered.
  • Before such a horrific end to the stalking transpires, it is imperative that the stalking survivor obtains, at the very least, an ‘ex-parte’ restraining order against the stalker, which does not need his/her input in the matter. A restraining order (or protective order) is used by the court in a situation of alleged domestic violence or in stalking cases. It stands as an official proof of an ongoing, escalating problem and allows the police to arrest the offender, instead of just issuing a warning to him/her and letting the offender go away unscathed. However, stalking victims feel that this protective court order is ‘just a piece of paper, of little or no value, in circumstances where the stalker has blithely violated the order, multiple times, with absolutely no regard for the legal consequences.
  • In the U.S.A. itself, there are more than three million stalking cases reported each year and the numbers are growing. It has been frequently noted that the stalker is invariably a known person to the victim; a known person who they implicitly trusted as being a morally good individual. Stalking implies a serious breach of trust and faith.
  • Let us be very clear about the following fact – the majority of stalkers are the most dangerous and evil-minded conmen known to humanity. They invariably have lethal and fatal intentions to harm their victims and more likely than not, unfortunately succeed in doing so.
  • Most stalkers are criminal-minded people who are very likely to re-offend upon their release from prison. There can be no rehabilitation, counselling sessions, therapy or community service options for evil people who evince absolutely no remorse, regret or repentance for their loathsome actions. They even go so far as to deny, anything and everything, that they have done. They come up with all kinds of plausible excuses and try to continually justify their actions. When a person refuses to accept responsibility for his/her actions; there can be no real help or remedial assistance that can be offered for such remorseless people. They are beyond redemption. Once a criminal, always a criminal – it is as simple as that. The first time that he/she kills another person, he finds it a bit difficult; the second time around, it gets easier. The third time around, the perpetrator realises that he gets a certain sadistic pleasure from the pain that he inflicts and acquires a weird sexual gratification from the act of killing itself. Where will it end – if ever?
  • Any person who is driven by feelings of infallibility and feelings of false pride and ego are bound to have a sharp downfall someday. There is a popular saying – “He is a fool if he thinks he will never make a mistake.” There is no room for improvement in someone who feels he/she is prefect, in every way.
  • Stalkers imagine that they are invincible and that they will invariably manage to get away scot-free, with their despicable, cowardly acts. In that respect, they are fools – “there is no greater fool than the one who thinks he/she cannot be fooled.” Let the stalker think he is smart – you learn to be smarter.
Ted Bundy in 1978 – he was one of the world’s most prolific, notorious and cruel serial killers, of all time, who started out his infamous career of evil as a dangerous conman and stalker. (Photo Credit: Florida Photographic Collection/Wikipedia)

Fast Facts: Preventing Stalking

Source:

Centres for Disease Control and Prevention

CDC 24×7: Savings Lives, Protecting People

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/stalking/fastfact.html#:~:text=The%20National%20Intimate%20Partner%20and%20Sexual%20Violence%20Survey%20(NISVS)%20reports,reported%20being%20stalked%20as%20minors.

What is Stalking?

Stalking is a public health problem that affects millions of people in the United States. Stalking involves a perpetrator’s use of a pattern of harassing or threatening tactics that are both unwanted and cause fear or safety concerns in a victim.

Stalking tactics can include:

  • Unwanted following and watching of the victim
  • Unwanted approaching or showing up in places, such as the victim’s home, workplace, or school
  • Unwanted use of global positioning system (GPS) technology to monitor or track the victim’s location
  • Leaving strange or potentially threatening items for the victim to find
  • Sneaking into the victim’s home or car and doing things to scare the victim or let the victim know the perpetrator had been there
  • Use of technology (e.g., hidden camera, recorder, computer software) to spy on the victim from a distance
  • Unwanted phone calls, including hang-ups and voice messages
  • Unwanted texts, emails, social media, or photo messages
  • Unwanted cards, letters, flowers, or presents

Using technology to socialize and communicate has its conveniences, but it can also make it easier for people to harass others in ways that might be frightening and threatening.

How big is the problem?

The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) reports that about 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have been stalked at some point in their lives.

While most women and men first experience being stalked as adults, approximately 24% of female victims and 19% of male victims reported being stalked as minors. Nearly 58% of female victims and 49% of male victims experienced stalking before the age of 25.

How can we stop stalking before it starts?

It is important for everyone to work together to end stalking. NISVS findings highlight the importance of early prevention and support efforts, which can include:

  • Empowering everyone to understand, recognize, and address stalking
  • Mobilizing men and boys as allies in prevention efforts
  • Creating and supporting safe environments within relationships, schools, and communities through programs and policies that reduce risk and promote healthy relationships

For more information about IPV, SV, and Stalking among men, please see Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Violence, and Stalking Among Men.

Need Help? Know Someone Who Does?

Contact your local service provider or a national hotline:

  • Victim Connect: 1-855-4VICTIM (1-855-484-2846)
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224
  • The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Additional resources for victims of stalking are available at the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center

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Lastly, here is a concluding summary from this author (as per her perspective) of this grave situation:

In conclusion, stalking victims should not allow their ego to stand in the way of them asking for help, support, and guidance from the competent authorities, whether it be the police force; the legal system or even in the sense of mobilizing the boys and men of the surrounding neighbourhood to be alert and aware of this grave issue and to alert them to be ready to spring into action, as a single, strong collective force, at the first signs of trouble and in case of (yet another) unwanted contact with the stalker.

Knowledge is Power.

There is strength in unity and in numbers.

A stalker is a back-stabbing, cowardly bully, at the end of the day – however, it is not a situation to be taken lightly, by any means, but it is imperative that stalking victims remember this undeniable fact, at all times.

There is no such thing as complete freedom – there never was, and there never will be. Stop fooling yourself. We cannot do whatever takes our whims and fancies and expect to have no repercussions. Maturity implies having the discipline to understand one’s clear-cut boundries and it is about taking responsibility for one’s actions.

Do not be foolish and court danger. Being out alone, especially at night, in a lonely, isolated area puts one in an intensely vulnerable position and makes one an open and easy target for lurking predators (for example, this is true for people obsessed with fitness who do not think twice before hiking or jogging in lonely, densely forested areas.) You may be in prime health but when it comes to stalking, your good health will not save you or your life – you are more than likely to fall prey to “silent watchers,” hiding in the shadows.

Obsessions develop when the “watcher” sees one following a certain, fixed routine, on a daily basis, without any deviations from the said course – simply because one is too trusting and has a blind faith that all people are good people – which is sadly not the case. You already know that. If you suspect yourself as being a victim of stalking, lose the routine, as soon as possible. Change your daily route – even if it means straying long distances from home – when you are driving your car, or jogging alone. It is a strict routine and a fixed schedule that keeps the fixation of stalkers going.

Do not be naive and assume that it cannot happen to you. Be on your guard at all times. Stay alert and watchful.

Do not attract undue and unnecessary attention upon yourself. Let us say, for example, that a drunken woman is alone in a bar past midnight and is being needlessly noisy, disruptive, laughing raucously, flirting shamelessly, dancing provocatively and purposely ‘banging herself’ into strangers on the dancefloor, thereby invading their personal space, ends up attracting a lot of unwanted attention, from ill-intentioned people who will easily misinterpret the siutation, as per their hidden, ulterior motives, by assuming that this woman really thinks she is oversmart – she needs to be taught a lesson on how to behave properly and ‘respect’ other people and their privacy. In the same context, voluptuous women who present themselves barely clad in public, in skimpy clothing, are distinctly courting trouble. Why would anyone want to be seen in public, in a state of (half) undress, even whilst being seemingly clothed? Who are they trying to impress? Grow up, for goodness sake!! Stop sending out wrong signals to onlookers and stop giving wrong ideas and notions to criminally-minded people!

Literally and firguratively speaking, never leave a highway, to take a byway. This implies sticking to the “tried and tested” path, rather than venturing into unknown, untested territory. Taking a shortcut home might save you time, energy and effort, but it could cost you dearly.

Think before you leap. Haste makes waste. Impulsive and thoughtless actions can have bitter consequences.

Some mentally-unstable people can easily misunderstand a simple act of friendliness – let us say that a young woman is habituated to go bar-hopping each Friday night where she wastes no time in getting completely sozzled and ‘wasted’ after having consumed too many alcoholic drinks. She may (or may not) be alone at the time. However, it is past midnight before she leaves the bar alone, barely able to walk properly, leave alone think coherently. During the course of the evening, she offers a ‘casual kiss’ to a friendly man, sitting conveniently next to her at the bar – he immediately misinterprets the casual, flirtatious kiss for unwanted sex, escalating to a brutal rape. He may even see the action of the kiss as an act of love, especially if he has suffered child abuse and neglect in his formative years of life. The man quickly gets obsessed with this woman and starts stalking her. When the rejection (from her) is bound to show its face, he takes it very personally and starts harbouring intense rage, hatred, bitterness and vindictiveness towards the said woman. He starts by giving her a false impression of his benevolence and so-called good intentions, so that the woman easily falls into the trap of misplaced trust. She does not realise that she has, unwittingly, just opened herself up to a whole gamut of dangerous mind-games. Remember, the stalking victim, more often than not, knows who her stalker is – it is rarely a random occurrence. The stalker uses deviousness and cunning deception to get close to his victim. If she already has a lover, it compunds the issue further. The stalker becomes so jealous that the story ultimately ends with the stalked victim getting cruelly beaten and brutally raped before she succumbs to a horiific, violent death at the hands of her attacker. Do you realise how serious the situation can easily become? Stalkers are the most dangerous conmen and confidence-tricksters that the world has known. They are smooth talkers but in reality, they harbour a heart full of lies. A stalking problem can have lethal consequences – pay good attention to what I say!

Be instantly alert and on your guard if someone gives the false impression of being too good to be true. Appearances can be deceptive. Do not allow yourself to get entrapped – wilfully or unwittingly.

No one can con/fool you, unless you specifically allow them to do so. Stay steadfast, strong, resolute and alert to new and innovative methods used by conmen. A person is first a confidence-trickster before he becomes an obsessive stalker – remember it well.

Understanding a person for what he/she is/represents, determines a correct and appropriate reaction from the opposite party. It stands true in any (and all) situations that life may confront us with. Do not forget it.

Finally, an undeniable truth – KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. It could save either your own life, or the life of the person you know and love. Remember it well. Stalkers are smart people – you teach yourself to be smarter.

Playing a game of cat and mouse: remember, “there is no greater fool, than the fool who believes that he can never be fooled.”

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