Many people have the constant fear in their mind that if they don’t modify their behaviour to suit the group, then they won’t be able “to fit in” with the crowd. Why worry about it when actually it is a matter of personal choice?
If one disapproves strongly of the attitudes, activities and behaviour of the group, then one must learn the art of simply saying “NO.”
It’s very difficult to say NO the first time around but as one keeps practising its usage more and more often, it becomes easier as time goes by.
The finality of this negative response is not without its many consequences and negative repercussions – it implies the need for inner strength and self-confidence, the courage, the perseverance and the steadfastness to ‘stick’ with what one believes to be Right and what is inherently Wrong.
If it’s important enough for you, you will decide actively to take such a stand – you will learn that this fact is crucial for your own well-being, health and peace of mind. In this way, it will help you to be able to live peaceably by this important decision.
It’s okay NOT to feel forced to bow down to peer pressure and/or group pressure from a gang. It’s alright not “to fit in.” If people in the group expect it of you, then, it’s fairly obvious that they never were your friends in the first place; only a bunch of fiendish bullies.
It’s okay to say “NO” if it makes you uncomfortable. Remember, one way or another, whether inadvertently or by conscious choice, we become like the people who we “hang out with” and interact the most with.
People can choose to accept you for who you are or not at all – it’s as simple as that.
Don’t be afraid of the solitude – even loneliness- that comes with raising one’s standards above those of such people. Life is not a mission where one needs to feel obligated to please everyone else; nor does the attainment of happiness- or lack thereof – depend on the opinions of those around us.
The latter is THEIR definition of the type of person who they perceive us as being- their judgment doesn’t reflect, by any means, the truth of the matter. The moment that one frees oneself of the dependence on the opinions that other people have of us, is the time that one sets oneself utterly free. That’s when one can & will be happy.